Decaying Voice
by LadyAdalicia
Summary: .:THIS STORY IS CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN AND REVISED! SO SOME CHAPTERS MIGHT NOT MATCH UP! THE REWRITTEN ONES ARE THE ONES THAT SAY CHAPTER WHATEVER IN THE TITLE IF IT HASN'T THEN IT HASN'T BEEN REDONE:. !SUMMARY INSIDE!
1. Prologue and Full Summary

**_Full Summary:_**

 _Tsukiko originally an idol and a great composer was a one woman team after her composer abandoned her causing her to become a superstar renowned for her solo career. Tsukiko abandoned her career after her last concert, reasons unknown to everyone even her family. But little does everyone know she is the big sister to Haruka Nanami! And as Haruka studies in Saotome Academy, she is left to wonder what her sister did while she was here as well as unravel the mystery of Tsukiko's career, while juggling her newly forming career path. Exhausting? You have no idea._

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 **Prologue**

Standing on the stage with the curtains still in place, I can hear hundreds, thousands even millions scream my name as I silently wait for my cue. The feeling of acceptance and the warmth of the crowds captures my entire body. Being on stage is magic. I can truly feel the energy of everybody who's out there, they are so happy and full of life. It fills me with a warm feeling, is it pride? love? happiness? I couldn't identify it. But it made me love the magical and mysterious feeling even more.

Still, I wait to begin my song, my breath steadying for the preparation of the first verse. As I wait dancers begin to take their formation. I stand hearing the introduction to my debut. Shining Saotome does go a bit over board some times. Giggling at the thought, a soft smile appeared on my face. I hear him finishing his speech and not second later the curtain rises, the screams intensify instantaneously. And I stand in position. The beat starts, and I let myself lose control to my music.

In a trance of such, I sing. My voice following the beat smoothly. Some voices of fans start trying to follow the lyrics even if they have never heard it before. Others dance to the dancers, not knowing the moves. I sing, letting my voice endulge itself. That feeling from before was back, but more intense. This is the feeling I have fallen in love with! This is what I always wanted! This id what I crave for. This is the passion built up for many years being let out through my melodies! I wish ever so desperately to feel this forever!

A sad feeling consumes me while I danced to the beat at the sudden thought. Not everything last forever...things end, this moment will end.

But...the memory last forever. I smiled at the thought.

A sudden cold yet inviting feeling came over me and all I could see was blackness.

I can hear someone saying something but I couldn't make it out. Unexpectedly a cold voice clearly spoke, and the words say made my heart stop.

"...memories only last as long as you are alive."


	2. Chapter 1 - Mágoa

**AN: This chapter starts about 7 minutes into the second episode of the first season of Uta No Prince Sama. But it's not exactly the same.**

 _"I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me." - Joshua Graham_

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"As a reference point, let's listen to the best tune from last year." Ringo-sensei explained trying to ease everybody's tension on the new assignment. The room of students instantly brightened. He smiled at his students and studied them in the room before a thought popped into his head.

"I think we should utilise the fact that this is a room full of musicians and singers, you guys should perform the piece." He smiled brightly at his own idea. It would help him understand some of his students abilities as well.

"Takehiko Ken-kun will sing for us." He firmly stated looking at the said raven haired boy. He nodded and walked over to collect his music sheets for the song.

"And accompanying on the piano will be..." Ringo-sensei looked at each student, but one in particular caught his eye.

"Nanami Haruki-Chan!" Cheerfully announcing his chosen pianist.

Haruka gasped in surprised, confused at his choice and stuttered.

"M-Me?!" Ringo sensei saw her confusion and happily answered back.

"That's right. If you would..." He placed the sheets on the piano and expectingly waited for her to come over.

Haruka immediately looked down, her shyness getting the best of her. Other classmates stared at her, waiting. The nerves seemingly capture her being but yet she got up and confidently strided over to the piano and sat down.

"All you have to do is play the melody." Ringo-sensei cheered on. Haruka looked at the note sheet and immediate panic started to capture her body and she let out a quiet gasp.

"Please start from letter A, after the 16th bar of the intro cut" Ringo Sensei explained. He waited and noticed her eyes scanning the sheet rapidly, he bent down. His curly hair flowing with him as he pointed to a small black bar on the sheet.

"Where the repeat mark is..." He stated, hoping she understood. But Haruka just stared dumbfounded at the page of notes, she had no clue what her sensei was talking about. The panic doubled and she started to pale.

Seeing Haruka tense before himself, Ringo-sensei got an idea. Maybe she preferred chord sheets and was too nervous to ask. After all she seemed like a shy girl to him.

"Or would you rather play from a chord sheet?." He asked with a soft smile.

What should I do? I don't understand it, Haruka asked herself silently. Her panic was beginning to show.

Suddenly the voices from her classmates drifted through her ears to her rambling mind.

'What is it? What's wrong?' One curious classmate asked, others around started gossiping and staring with questioning eyes. Haruka's breathing grew heavy along with the tense atmosphere clouding her mind, Ringo-sensei broke her thoughts.

"What's the matter?" Curiously he asked.

Haruka tried to provide an answer, but no words formed on her lips.

A sudden voice guided its way to her ear.

"Maybe she doesn't know how to read music?". Haruka froze and paled even further at what was said. She did know how to play! She just couldn't...read music.

Phrases like "No way!", "Seriously?" and "I can't believe it!" were the responses that floated around.

Ittoki Otoya and Ringo-sensei looked on disbelief yet they remained silent.

Haruka couldn't stand her classmates gossiping stood abruptly breaking the conversations and shouted.

"I can play the Piano! My grandma taught me!" She announced boldly. But the silence that she received was one of disbelief. And so the whispers changed to outcries.

"Her grandma?!" One student cried out.

"She isn't studying with a professional teacher?" Another questioned.

"Then how did she get in here?"

"Maybe through a connection..." Another tried to answer.

Haruka stood humiliated, trying to defend herself she tried to speak. But once again words couldn't form on her lips.

Tears started gathering in her eyes but unexpectedly Ittoki Otoya stood and spoke defending her.

"Nanami, don't listen to them!" Trying to help Haruka, he could easily see her distress.

"You're the one who's in for trouble Ittoki-Kun..." said a female classmate, "Getting teamed up with that girl..."

Haruka stared in embarrassment, hurt with such a comment. Ittoki tying still to defend her yelled back.

"That's out of line!" Said female classmate scoffed at his retort.

Looking down, the realisation of her uselessness for her partner for the contest hit her hard. Tears gathered as she ran out of the class, desperate to escape. Banging the door open, she heard Ittoki yell for her name. But she couldn't care, she was humiliated. She ran outside into gardens, where she found a small pavilion near a lake. She looked up to the sky as she let tears slide down her cheeks.

The weather is cloudy and it's about to rain judging from the smell in the air, thought Haruka. And just like that the rain starting pouring down. As if the world knew her humilation, sighing, she sat on a bench under the pavilion. Leaning back on the bench, she thought back o the small ordeal she just experienced. Not even a whole day here and this was happening to her. Sighing, she started to ponder back to when she was first taught the piano, by her big sister Tsukiko. Smiling, she remembered the days so clearly liked she lived them yesterday instead of years ago.

 _"Haruka-chan lets sing and clap the rhythm, it's easier this way to get to know the rhythm." Tsukiko explained gently to her little sister, teaching her the rhythm. "Remember this song has 4 beats in a bar and so we have to count 4 beats before we start each time, I will show you how and you repeat after me." Haruka nodded at her sister instructions already eager to begin._

 _"One, Two, Three, Four" Tsukiko clapped the rhythm to the counts, going slow so Haruka could understand. She clapped once for one and two but held the clap when she counted three and four. "Now you try." Haruka immediately began, counting the beat and clapping along to her own counting. Though she didn't hold her clap when she was suppose to._

 _"Haruka-chan you forget to hold that clap on three and four, for that clap goes for two beats not one." She chuckled lightly, scolding her sister. Showing her twice more, Haruka believed she was capable of clapping the rhythm. Tsukiko let Haruka show her newly learned clapping rhythm to her. And this time she got it right._

 _"Well done Haruka-chan!" She applauded her sister for her effort._

 _"Can we sing it now?" Haruka beamed at her sister, to which her sister nodded with a smile._

 _"One, Two, Three, Four" Tsukiko counted in, starting the song off. Not long after they were singing together and clapping the rhythm, Haruka quickly learned her first song._

 _"...how I wonder what you are?" Haruka jumped up and down celebrating her success in the finishing tune, Twinkle Twikle Little star. Unbeknownst to Haurka, Tsukiko sat back a little paler than usual, but she smiled brightly._

 _"Now we learn the keys for the song on the piano" Tsukiko stated the next phase of learning the tune. Haruka still beaming sat on the piano seat. Tsukiko smiled and hoped that moments like these will always be remembered._

It is a moment I remember so well, Haruka thought with a smile. Suddenly a jacket came around her cold shoulders. Ittoki sat next to her. He must of followed me, she quickly concluded. She looked at the jacket on shoulders in confusion though.

Ittoki smiled and explained his actions.

"You'll catch a cold." Jerking his thumb at the miserable weather.

Startled by his caring nature she stuttered.

"I-Ittoki-Kun..." He just smiled wider at her nervous response, letting his eyes soften at her. He held his hand out and Haruka grabbed it as he pulled her towards the school.

They quickly got out of the rain, and found cover. Haruka silently thought to herself.

Ittoki-kun is so kind, he seems to really care about me. She blushed inwardly.

Ittoki had his back to Haruka and he felt the need to make her feel better about what happened in class.

"Look it will be alright." Haruka confusingly looked up at his words. "Reading a score and all that...especially if you study from here on out..." He turned towards her a smile bright on his face. Haruka stared disbelief evident on her face at what he said, she looked down ashamed and spoke.

"But I've never composed music before..." Looking as if she would break down at any moment into tears. Ittoki noticed the tears gathering and immediately smiled, it became wider with his hands on his hips and head held high, he enthusiastically announce.

"It'll be all right, I tell you! I've never written lyrics before either!" He rubbed the back of his head, a small blush on his face in embarrassment.

Haruka brighten hearing his confession, and happily stated.

"Then you're the same as me right?" And Ittoki cheerfully confirmed.

" Yep! We're on the same boat!" The childish atmosphere quickly left them as Ittoki asked a more serious question.

"Nanami, you must've come here because you wanted to do something too, yeah?" Haruka looked up in surprised at his question, but she nodded vigorously, a determined look on her face. Ittoki smiled.

"In that case..." He started "you can't give up." His bright red eyes sparkled with childish mirth. Haruka stared at him, wonder clear in her eyes.

"I've been singing for as long as I can remember." Ittoki Admitted, leaning on a nearby pillar he closed his eyes in nostalgia. "Even if you're feeling blue, singing cheers you up, doesn't it?" He opened briefly to see Haruka nodding but obviously confused at where he was going with this. He closed his eyes closed for another second, before he opened them and confessed "So...When I make my debut, I hope someone is encouraged by my songs." He stared at the wall in a temporary daydream. Haruka stared at him in wonder. Shaking away the daydream he said.

"Anyway, for now I'll try to write lyrics for one verse by tomorrow." Remembering the assignment they were given,

Hark was really encouraged and motivated so much by Ittoki's little moment, to her in that moment he seemed so passionate. Hark abruptly straightened her posture and said "I'll study musical scores and composition!"

Surprised by her little outburst he just simply smiled and nodded slightly, once again agreeing "Yeah! Let's both do our best!"

She nodded her head, happy with the outcome. And instantaneously left to study.

Haruka got to her room and dried herself. Now she was studying in the library and didn't notice the fast approaching cross dresser coming her way.

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 **AN: Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 _ **Always and Forever,**_

 _ **LadyAdalicia**_


	3. Chapter 2 - The Meraki Song

_"Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself. So live the life you imagined." - Henry David Thoreau_

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Ringo-sensei stopped abruptly in front of the desk Haruka was working at, and called her name to get her attention.

"Nanami Haruka-chan." He sweetly called, Haruka turned her head up quickly, her questioning gaze caused Ringo-sensei to chuckle.

He held up a brown package, to which she stared at in confusion and curiosity. He placed in on top of her work, and Haruka studied it carefully. The package was rectangular in shape, covered in a brown paper wrapping with a string loosely holding it together. Where the string tied in a bow, was small folded note with Haruka's last name neatly written on it. Haruka looked to Ringo-sensei confused, but he simply smiled and replied.

"Your sister was very talented when she came here and I'm sure she still is..." He smiled sadly at the memory of the the famous singer, a nostalgia glaze over his eyes.

"She always would tell me all about you. She believed that you would follow her foot steps one day and come here." He looked at Haruka with a knowing gaze. "She made this and I have feeling she had you in mind. I remember when she gave it to me, I was so confused and she just smiled and told me to give it to you if ever did hose to come here." Ringo sensei finished and smiled a bit happier now due to the revisited memory. Haruka looked at him shocked, her sister seemed too have known about her future and planned for everything.

"I don't know what is inside but i have a feeling that she made sure to involve everything sh believed you needed for years to come, so make good use of whatever she gave you!' Ringo sensei chirped, clapping his hands together. Haruka was about to thank him when he turned around and almost looked as if he skipped out of the library. Haruka not surprised by the cross dressers actions dismissed his weirdness and looked at the package crafted by her sister. She pulled the note out gently from behind its string bindings.

Haruka stared down at the very familiar hand writing of her sister, her name ever so neatly almost lovingly written years ago. She always loved her sister and knew that she would always care for her, but this was taking the extra mile. Opening the folded note, Haruka read;

 _Imouto_

 _Knowing your little heart, you have flown all the way to Saotome Academy to learn as I once did. I also know that even you did not realise the expectations from this amazing school. So for you, I hand crafted this little book to help you through your troubles. Whether it be composing or even lyric writing, there should be something there to help you if needed._

 _Remember to aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can make yourself a happier and more productive person_

 _Lots of Love,_

 _Tsukiko_

 _Good luck_

Wrapping arms around herself, Haruka smiled and could not believe her sister. All she could believe was that she must be the luckiest little sister in the universe, to have Tsukiko as her nee-chan.

Haruka clenched her fist she was so motivated by her sister's kindness that got straight to studying non-stop, she will make her proud! She wasn't the little sister of the greatest recording artist of the 21st century for nothing!

Unbeknownst to Haruka as she is studying, and devoting her mind to learning music. Masato and Natsuki secretly watched her from afar.

"Her straightforwardness and seriousness in music, is astounding!" Natsuki smiled, admiring the girl. Masato nodded, she was a strange girl.

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While Haruka is studying, she tried hard to not let the gossips from earlier affect her work. Tomochika is even surprised how she is studying non-stop. But it was clear that even after studying relentlessly Haruka still has no idea how to come up with a melody, so she goes to the pavilion from her earlier encounter at night to think about it. Haruka sat and ponder on the melody she needed to create. She looked to the open pages of one of sisters books and smiled sadly at the many music sheets.

Tsukiko-nee-cha, I looked at your music in the book, but I can't copy the melody, Haruka sadly thought. You stated that music is like your lover, in which you go to it and release your feelings and the music responds on the page, but I don't understand how you do it, Haruka thought confused. She looked to the book, open in her lap. Tsukiko had written a poem on music as well as how she wetter music herself.

 _When you write music, express through each note your feeling, higher notes are used a majority of times to create a more joyful feel and the opposite for the lower notes that create sad and anger feelings. The best way to write music is think about something you like from other pieces and write it and work from there. I prefer to write a poem or lyrics then create the music as the lyrics are what touch your heart the music just emphasis the feeling. All together creating a harmony of emotion._

 _Play with your heart not with your head. Imouto._

 _Poem:_

 _Music is my lover_

 _From the tenderness of your sweet melodies, to the soft tender touch of your rhythm you sooth me.._

 _Your smooth lyrics caress me as I run to you from a hard day for you to release me, you comfort my soul.._

 _If I am heart broken, you sooth me..._

 _If I'm in love you remind me..._

 _If I'm in sorrow you console me..._

 _You make me smile..._

 _You make me cry..._

 _You make me think..._

 _Every imaginable emotion I posses you successfully translate into those smooth lyrics so articulately..._

 _I have a passion for you ..._

 _I'm in love with you..._

 _I love the way you make me feel..._

 _Although, the greatest love is for God..._

 _My second love is the sensation that I feel as I allow your sensual melodies to pierce through my soul..._

 _Hold me as I make love to you every night..._

 _Hold me as I wake up to you every morning..._

 _I'm addicted to the sensations of rhythms piercing through my veins..._

 _Damn, right Im sprung!_

 _You had me whipped from the first song!_

She always was singing and dancing, she called it her souls urge, Haruka thought at the memory of her sister.

She stood, about to walk back to her room where Tomochika would be undoubtedly waiting. When she starts humming a tune. Catching the attention of a certain red-headed male, who was also lost in thought.

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 **AN: I will stop here and go to episode 3. I hope you guys are trying to figure out the story mwahaha. The tune she is humming is of course Brand New Melody, which of course is the song Ittoki and Haruka create for their assignment.**

 **Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 _ **Always and Forever,**_

 _ **LadyAdalicia**_


	4. Chapter 3 - Serendipity

_"Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." - Marilyn Monroe_

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Standing in the main hall, Haruka eagerly looked for her name on the scoreboard. She knew that her sister when she did the assignment got first place. She hoped that she could make her sister proud with her score and impress with her stories of this school as Tsukiko had once done. So Haruka had hoped for her to be at least in the top five. There! She could see her's and Ittooki's score! They scored second! That's really high! Haruka was practically jumping with joy and absolute bliss.

Tomochika runs up to Haruka and congratulates her for passing the recording test as she too has passed as well.

"Well done Haruka-chan!" Tomochika says proudly.

"You did well too Tomo-chan!" Haruka replies and hugs her friend, congratulating her too. Soon the girls are joined by Ittoki.

"I passed with flying colours! All thanks to you Nanami-chan!" He excitedly affirmed. They all started talking and waling to their class, when they entered the room they all froze. All excitement gone. Unfortunately their joy was short lived.

On the blackboard was graffiti about Haruka, even more unfortunate, it's the first thing Haruka saw. There, the bad rumour written about her on the blackboard by her classmates; "Suspicious! She can't even read music! Nanami Haruka favouritism: The truth behind her, impossible ability!" Haruka stared hurt illustrated clear in golden, green eyes, tears gathered slowly causing Tomochika and Ittoki to panic.

Ittoki and Tomochika vigorously erase the rumour and tried to comfort Haruka.

"Haruka, don't let it get to you! They are just jealous that you scored really high and they didn't!" He tried to comfort her, giving his support full force with a smile. Haruka smiles at his attitude, what she did do to deserve such a supportive friend, she wondered.

"Thank you Ittoki-kun." Haruka gave her gratitude to him, the support he gave was so kind. But their moment was short lived, Ringo-sensei had entered the classroom.

"Alright class, take your seats and calm down." He smiled waiting for the room to be silent.

"I'm so proud of you all! Every single one of you did amazing, but..." He paused, suddenly looking dead serious.

"ITTOKI-KUN AND HARUKA-CHAN GOT SECOND CONGRATULATIONS MY DEARS!" He shouted, twirling in pure happiness ad joy. Everyone clapped for them, a few students glared at the duo but Ringo-sensei didn't notice. After calming down and he started taking the role. While he did that Haruka started to think about her sister, silently asking her for comfort from the glares she had gotten. Nee-chan, were people ever jealous of you? I bet they might of been, you're too amazing, Haruka silently chuckled at her thoughts. She was pulled out of her comforting thoughts by her name being called.

"Nanami Haruka-chan!" Ringo-sensei cheerfully announced, this man was too happy for his own good.

"Huh?" Startled by her name being called, not understanding why her sensei called her.

"You will play the piano for us, since you scored the highest here along with your partner!" Ringo-sensei happily explained again, closing his eyes into an upside down U and smiling with a little clap of his hands. It wouldn't surprise anyone if he started twirling, while happily chirping right then and there.

Haruka agreed to play with a small yes, smiling and making her way to the piano. She sits down and looks at the sheet, Ringo-sensei giving her the instructions needed to begin playing. But before she can play, the class starts gossiping again. Making Haruka's fingers freeze instantaneously.

No, I can do this, just imagine your playing for nee-chan, Haruka silently encouraged herself but to no avail. She tried to get her fingers moving, but they wouldn't they were frozen. Haruka sits there trying to force her body to move, but it seemingly rejects the task. She started to panic and the cause of her distress, the gossiping teens started getting louder, ravaging her innocent mind of their thoughtless remarks. The gossiping started to reach a boiling point and once again she wanted to leave the room. No! Please stop saying such things! I can't take this! I-It's too much! Haruka thought, like a frightened and cornered animal she just was fight or flight mode. Unfortunately she chose flight.

Standing, Haruka ran. Anywhere is fine, as long as I'm was out of that classroom, Haruka thought desperately. She was severely upset at the bullying of her fellow classmates.

After running into the garden she found a small daisy filled area to sit in, her mind started to wonder into depressed thoughts. Why did I enroll in the academy in the first place? If I can't play in front of people then there is no point. Her hand brushed her pocket where her mobile phone was inside, she pulled it out and stared at, suddenly it started ringing. Jumping she juggled her phone briefly before opening and answering. She figured that this morning she had forgot to turn it on silent.

"Moshi Moshi?"

 _"Hello Haruka-chan"_

Recognising instantly the person who replied. Haruka surprised at who called started to respond but she stuttered and trying to find the words.

"N-Nee-chan, w-why did you c-call?" Haruka stumbled confused, but all she got was chuckle in response.

 _"Haha, I thought that my imouto wanted to have some girl on girl talk with her nee-chan. Since its been nearly week for you without me, I thought maybe you missed me as much as I missed you. Was I wrong in that assumption?"_ Tsukiko responded smoothly.

"N-NO! Um, you weren't wrong, in fact I needed someone to talk to..." Haruki's face lost its smile.

 _"Of course you did, hence why I called. But more importantly. What is weighing heavily on your mind?'_ Tsukiko responded cockily but change quickly into a concerning tone.

"Well, there are rumours about me..." Haruka stated nervously, embarrassed that she was being bullied.

Smiling sadly on the other end, Tsukiko sighed. It seems those students at the academy never do changed, she remembered when they picked on her when she went to the academy. It went her fault that the teachers loved her work. But unlike Haruka, at the time she had no one except papers, pen and pianos as comfort.

 _"Haruka-chan, you weren't the only one bullied at the academy, I was as well..."_ Hearing the gasp on the other end, Tsukiko knew she had surprised her. I hope I didn't ruin my perfect big sister image to her, Tsukiko thought giggling at the implication.

 _"I had rumours about my talents, since I was in the composer course and in the idol course, so to deal with it, I created a saying that I live by till this day."_ Tsukiko said, staring at the sky, remembering her academy days. She was currently outside of their grandma's home, in a swinging bench with a blanket, pillow, and a good book, her grandma suggested to read it outside and try to get some fresh air and vitamin D.

"Really Tsuki-nee? I never imagine you would of all people would get bullied...I'm mean maybe one or two got jealous because you're just so amazing but it's so hard to believe." Haruka tried to rationalise, her disbelieving tone speaking volumes to Tsukiko.

" _Even those who seem to be an untouchable perfection are the most flawed people, my dear imouto. I am one of those people."_ Tsukiko explained gently.

"But Nee-chan..." Her voice broke as she tried to explain her situation. "Being here it's so hard, m-my hands freeze up and I can't play! And their words! I don't know what to do!' Haruka complained, crying full heartedly.

Sighing, Tsukiko knew that her sister was soft-hearted but even she needed to get use to the cruel world ahead. Not even she could save her imouto from the harsh reality of the music industry.

 _"Haruka...rumours...are carried by haters, spread by fools and accepted by idiots. Don't associate with those people, find support and love within those who accepts you, ignore the rumours and defend you against others.'"_ Tsukiko advised, her gentle voice held an authoritative tone to it. Haruka thought back to Tomochika and Ittoki and smiled.

"I have a few people like that." Haruka said happily, not realising she said her thought out loud.

"Then why are you complaining? Go to them and let them comfort you. You need people other then myself, for this time in your life and possibly the rest of your future I will not be there to hold your hand every step of the way." Tsukiko lectured Haruka, giving her sister the hard truth.

"Hai, I will go to them, I will show you and the world that I can be stronger! Thank you nee-chai!" Haruka beamed, her new found confidence shining off of her.

 _"Good, that's what I want to hear."_ Tsukiko smiled softly knowing her sister's stubborn determination better than anyone.

 _"Now before you hang up on me, I have a little surprise for you..."_ Tsukiko's smiled disappeared, a more serious frown now adorning her face. Haruka was about to question her sister only to be utterly shocked at her next words.

" _In a few days time, I will be coming to the academy."_

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 **AN: Was that a good cliffhanger? But why is Tsukiko having to go to academy? What will everyone do since the legendary music artist who disappeared will be coming to the academy? What will Haruka do? idk aND I'M THE AUTHOR!**

 **Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 _ **Always and Forever,**_

 _ **LadyAdalicia**_


	5. Chapter 4 - Lorn

_"I surrender myself to everything. I love, I feel pain, I struggle. The world seems to me wider than the mind, my heart a dark and almighty mystery." - Nikos Kazantzakis_

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Haruka sucked in a breath of shock, she was happy to hear she would see her sister since she had missed her but the problem was...why? Her sister seemed content enough to talk to her over the phone. Was something wrong?

"Nee-chan? Why would you come here? Don't get me wrong I miss you and all but I don't understand why?" Haruka pleaded gently trying to find an answer.

"You don't need to know why, Haruka-chan. It does not concern you, I will be coming of my own accord for some business I need to deal with. All you need to know, is that I'm coming and I will see you. I have to go now Haruka, take care." Tsukiko sounded sad and almost guilty but before Haruka could voice her concerns, the phone went silent. All that she could hear was the beeping, it taunted her. Haruka closed her phone, frustration causing her to frown. She started to ponder on her sisters strange response. Even more strange is how she ended she said 'Take care' she _**never**_ ended her calls like that. It's always 'love you' or 'lots of love'. Something must be definitely up, Haruka concluded

Unfortunately though Haruka couldn't ponder on her sisters behavior for long, as a black cat came over, the cat that stole her handkerchief the day previously. All Haruka did was smile at the cat, having no hard feelings over the small incident.

"Seems I will have to be stronger not just for myself but for Tsukiko-nee-chan." She gently told herself more than the cat.

"I think you need a name..." She told the cat, as she petted its smooth black fur. "I got it! Kuppuru! It means black and fluffy." She giggled at her own silliness. "My new fluffy black cat friend." She picked u the cat and rubbed her head with his. Earning her a purr. She didn't want to curse at the cat for stealing her handkerchief, she wasn't the type to do a such a cruel thing instead she wanted to bond with the cat, giving it a name and praise. Patting the cat that was now on her lap, was turning out to be comforting for both her and Kuppuru. She smiled slightly, and then a sudden thought struck her head.

"Oh! I bet you want food...since you seem to have no owner." Haruka said looking at it's collarless neck, she patted Kippur once more before standing. And so she started walking towards the school tuck shop. Once she arrived, she looked for the cat food she needed. While focused on the shelves looking for some supplies she suddenly bumped into someone. The feeling on impact was a muscular flat chest and she knew instantly it was a guy. The embarrassment was coming in fast on the humiliation express.

"S-Sorry!" Haruka half-yelled, trying to apologize for her clumsiness. Looking up she came face to face with Masato. An opened mouth and widened eyes is what she came face to face with. Quite literally.

"Are you alright?" Masato asked, concern clear in his voice and eyes. Haruka stumbled and stuttered her reply and more apologies.

"I'm f-fine, oh my, I'm sorry Hijirikawa-San! Are you alright! Forgive my clumsine-" Masato interrupted her fast rambling before it got worse.

"Nanami, are you really alright?" His forehead furrowed with concern. Haruka realised he was referring to todays earlier incident in class. Oh no, Haruka thought. She stared up into his eyes and a sudden feeling came over her, it felt like she was trapped and unable to lie.

"Well, I-I...it's just..." Haruka tried to tell him that she was afraid. Afraid of playing for the class. But the words just wouldn't come out. Then as if he understood why she seemed to be hesitating, he spoke, surprising Haruka out of her minds rambling.

"Go pay for your stuff, then come with me, we can talk privately then." Masato smoothly said. Haruka looked to him, seeing his serious expression. She nodded nervously, then moved to buy Kuppuru's food and other supplies.

After the food was bought, Masato led Haruka towards the lake and eventually to a bench by the shore of the lake. There they sat, staring at the ripples of lake, it was a quite peaceful place. letting the atmosphere . Masato started the conversation. Voicing his concern for her, when she left the classroom.

"Are you truly alright? Because when you ran out the classroom, you seemed to be having a panic attack." His voice was very soothing and helped her relax. Looking into his eyes she felt embarrassed of her situation, so she looked to her feet instead. Masato thought that her look was one of shame, and tried to console her.

"You shouldn't let what they say dictate your actions or feelings, it will only cause you more pain." Masato tried to reassure her, though his voice was cold it was laced with concern. Haruka looked to him, eyes glassy with unshed tears with a soft broken looking smile.

"No matter how many people may tell me that, it's useless." her smile turning to a frown, she continues to taunt herself.

"I'm pathetic, I really am. I was naive to think I could come to the academy and not study as hard as everyone else." She finished on the verge of breaking down. All Haruka wanted at that moment was her sister, for her to tell her everything is gonna be okay and take her away from her troubles. Sadly though Mast's presence reminded her that she is still at the academy. He turned sharply at her words and and wanted to retort those thoughts of hers.

"I understands that it won't help being told to not let the bullying get to you. But listen please-" Masato was suprisngly cut off by Haruka denying his understanding of her.

"Look, no one knows what I want, I just...' Haruka ran before she could finish her sentence, wanting the tense atmosphere gone. Grabbing her stuff, she ran somewhere safe. Running down the long halls she looked for a safe place. She eventually came across a familiar room, she believed it was a private lounge room. When she first came here she found this room by accident, but she realised quickly it was abandoned and not even used. So Haruka had stashed some stuff here, when she first came.

She opened the door and walked into the dusty room, dropping the food gently on a nearby dusty couch, she closed the door to the room. Turning she looked straight at the small T.V, placed against the wall facing a dusty couch. Haruka walked to a small chest like box, pulling a small, gold key from her right pocket. She kneeled, and placed the key in the hole unlocking the chest. With a small amount of force the lid flew and softly hit the wall it was against. Inside the chest laid posters, merchandise and most importantly videos.

It was not Hayato fan stuff like many would expect from her. No. It was memorabilia of the artist, Impulse. AKA her sister, Tsukiko Nanami.

Lifting one of the videos labeled 'debut concert footage - You and I' she opened and place the contents within an already opened disk tray for the T.V.

And began watching her sister. She always danced and sung so gracefully, like a muse.

As she admired her sisters performance. A certain worried and concerned group was searching for her and would soon discover her little hideaway.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

 **AN: This is shorter than most chapters oh well I tried. Haruka's attitude has a damsel distress kinda vibe and it annoys me so freaking much. So I might end up going OOC or something with her. Or maybe I'm just jealous that she literally has a group of hot guys wanting her FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN SHE MAKES GOOD MUSIC FOR THEM. Ugh.**

 **Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 _ **Always and Forever,**_

 _ **LadyAdalicia**_


	6. Chapter 5 - Lacuna

_"My music will tell you more about me than I ever will." - Unknown_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Haruka sat there on the dusty couch, close to the T.V that was currently displaying her sister. In the video, she was performing her legendary debut concert. It was called legendary because every idol that went to academy and knew her sister was asked by her personally to sing the chorus at the concert with her. And the effect that it had was a spine tingling performance.

Haruka sat on the floor, leaning on the old couch, she was getting quite tired from her emotionally exhausting day. Watching the concert performance bright back memories of her own experience at the concert, she was only little at the time but she remembered it quite clearly. Haruka leaned further against the couch, drifting further into sleep. With her sisters singing it was like the lullabies she sung to help her sleep when she was younger. Finally, she let go of her consciousness and and her dreams drifted to the memories of her sister.

" _Haruka-chan! Obaa-chan! You guys came!" Tsukiko yelled as she ran to her sister and grandma. Obviously excited that her family came to her debut concert. Her grandma just laughed at her antics, Tsukiko was always so bubbly. Haruka held her hands up wanting to be held. Of course Tsukiko complied picking up Haruka laughing and smiling all the while spinning her little sister in excitement._

" _Yay! Nee-chan, faster! Faster!" Haruka playfully yelled already hyped from her seeing her sister. Both sisters laughed. Their joy was short lived though as Tsukiko had to finish getting ready and get on stage in 20 minutes. But Haruka wanted to keep playing with her sister, so of course she started to throw a childish tantrum._

 _"Now now Haruka-chan. Your onee-chan needs to get ready and go on stage." Their grandma gently told Haruka, already knowing they might make Tsukiko late. Haruka looked to her sister, looking for her response. After all she always knew her onee-chan was right!_

" _Ah, I'm afraid imouto that Obaa-chan is right. I will see you after the concert, okay?' Tsukiko tried to compromise but little Haruka didn't want to wait, she didn't come all this way to WAIT! And just like any toddler who didn't get their way she started crying._

" _I-I want on-onee-chan to stay!" Haruka sobbed, hiccupping all the while trying to make her sister stay. Tsukiko eyes soften, she didn't get to see her sister as much since she is in school, but now she will be idol AND a composer she won't get breaks. Quickly she found a solution, and she picked her sister up and cradled her to chest. And then she started singing a lullaby._

" _Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket_

 _Never let it fade away_

 _Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket_

 _Save it for a rainy day"_

 _Haruka instantly brightened hearing her sisters voice and at being rocked back and forth. Tsukiko looked to Haruka smiling gently. Haruka seemed at least a bit happier and hopefully she would let her go for a bit._

" _Now Haruka-chan, I have to go now but promise me, you will behave until I come back." At that Haruka nodded, she always seemed to listen to her sister. With a few kisses and hugs and many good lucks, Tsukiko became Impulse and took to the stage. Giving the performance of her life. And memorising her sisters young mind. She always knew her Onee-chan was the best._

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

While Haruka dreamt of her sister, her friends were looking for her, they were really worried about her.

"I might know a place where she would hide." Tomochika said worry clear in her voice. Ittoki and Masato sharply turned to look at her.

"When we were unpacking I noticed she had a chest, I asked her about it and she told me she kept her sister's memorabilia in it." Masato and Ittoki nodded, waiting for her to tell them the whereabouts of Haruka.

"I noticed her moving the chest out the room the next day, so of course I asked her where she was going, she told me she found an abandoned lounge room that she could put the stuff, she also told me she got permission from the headmaster." Tomochika explained to the guys, seeing their eyes widened at getting permission from the headmaster.

"Do you know where that room is?!" Ittoki quickly asked, the most worried of the three. Tomochika smirked, at that moment they got their answer. Tomochika started jogging towards the hall, where the room was located, with both boys following close behind.

Finally arriving at the room, all they could hear was singing. Looking at each other with nervous eyes, Tomochika reached her to the door knob. Gently turning it she heard the click and pushed the door open. Quietly they walked in, to see faded grey curtains, motionless with dust. Paint from the walls were peeling some pieces already on the dusty floor. The only evidence of life was where the couch and the T.V were. Since those where the only two pieces of furniture not wrapped or covered in dirty white sheets.

As they walked closer, they saw a mass leaning on the couch, hurrying over only to see Haruka fast asleep. All of them let out a breath they hadn't realised they had been holding. Suddenly the T.V made loud noise, repeating the video.

" _Who wants to run away!"_ Shouted a beautiful teenage girl. Looking to the T.V they found a white haired, blue eyed idol. Staring straight at the camera. The response was immense, girls and boys alike shouted wanting to hear their idols voice.

The boys stared wide eyed, this was the debut concert of the famous idol Impulse. Most famous forgot only her debut concert but disappearing. No one knew why she stopped and disappeared. A lot of social media said she was overwhelmed by her sudden fame, or she had planned this from the start, everyone seemed to have their own theory as to why she disappeared. But no definite truth was announced.

But one thing baffled their minds more than the idol, why would Haruka, who didn't even know who Ringo-sensei was be watching this idol? Why would Tomochika say this was her sister's memorabilia? Unless they knew each other or were even related...the latter seemed highly unlikely to the boys. They were going to get to the bottom of this, but for now, they would let Haruka sleep. She did have a hard day after all.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

 **A/N: Once again another short chapter sorry. The debut song I chose for Tsukiko is called Runaway (U and I) by Galantis. For now, I won't be writing any songs for Tsukiko just finding ones that suit.**

 **Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 ** _Always and Forever,_**

 ** _LadyAdalicia_**


	7. Chapter 6 - Eccedentesiast

_"She wears it so beautifully doesn't she, her pain...always always positive...always happy to help...It's like a garment perfectly tailored to fit the way she carries it...with a touch of grace...and the quietness of that sad smile..._

 _All so you'd never know how heavy it really was." - Ranata Suzuki_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Ittoki, Masato and Tomochika all sat on the couch. Tomochika had moved Haruka's head onto her lap. Providing her lap as a pillow and also to provide some comfort for her. As they waited patiently, they pondered on the idol's connection to Haruka. But where constantly interrupted by the concert playing on the T.V.

" _Think I can fly, think I can fly when I'm with U"_

The dancing figure sung, her white hair in a high ponytail, with bangs framing her face. Tsukiko was wearing a two-piece outfit. The top was a small white crop top, covered by a pale blue vest. The vest had one button at the neckline with a heart shaped opening on the chest. On the bottom of the vest were two chains hooked on both sides connected to the front and back, with a big loop that went down to her mid-thigh. Her skirt was pleated and the same colour as the vest, with a small white line across the bottom. She wore white sleeves (think hatsune miku sleeves) rimmed with black and pale blue. Her slightly heeled boots were black with white and pale blue rim, that came just above her knees.

In short she was beautiful. Beauty was common in idols, but who had heard of an idol with white hair. No one. Another reason she was so popular. She was so different from other idols.

" _My arms are wide, catching fire as the wind blows."_

All three looked at the idol, still pondering. How were they connected. From what Tomochika said, she almost sounded precious to Haruka, she wasn't a fan because the letters and notes they had found in the chest, always addressed Haruka personally. Even more interesting, in an attempt to find safety, she came here, and played the video.

" _I know that I'm rich enough for pride. "_

All they could do was watch the idol's recorded performance, till Haruka awoke. Then their answers would come.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

" _I see a billion dollars in your eyes_

 _Even if we're strangers til we die"_

 _Haruka danced backstage, well it was more like jumping up and down with a few twirls. Her sister looked amazing. She looked to her Obaa-chan, seeing her smile at her enthusiasm_

" _Obaa-chan, when I grow up I want to make music like Nee-chan!" Her grandma just chuckled, Haruka was always such a optimistic child._

" _Now watch Haruka-chan this is the part all of Japan have been wanting for..." Her Grandma quietened her down, she picked her up and placed her on her hip so she could watch the whole stadium's reaction._

 _All the lights dimmed with a slow boom. And suddenly the chorus came beaming out of the mouths of more than 50 idol students all of which were behind Tsukiko. The lights glowed, blue, white and purple, as her sister started singing the legendary debut._

" _I wanna run away_

 _I wanna run away_

 _Anywhere out this place_

 _I wanna run away"_

 _The back-up dancers came from the sides, ready to dance. And the lights dimmed allowing the idol students to disappear. And so Tsukiko began singing solo, she briefly glanced to where her family were. Lingering her eyes on little Haruka._

" _Just U and I, I, I, I, I_

 _U and I, I, I, I, I_

 _U and I, I, I, I, I_

 _U and I, I, I, I, I_

 _Just U and I"_

 _Everyone in the stadium seemed to jump up and down to the beat. Haruka was sure her sister would be even more amazing as time goes on. After all she was just beginning her career, what could possible happen?_

Haruka stirred from her sleep, startling Ittoki and Tomochika. Masato though was quite calm, but he was worried too.

"Haruka-chan..." Tomochika gently called. Haruka's eye widened at the sound of her friend's voice. She definitely didn't fall asleep with her there. Looking up she found Ittoki and Masato there too. When did they get there?

"Haruka-chan, are you alright?" Ittoki asked, still concerned.

"Um...yeah...I'm fine." Haruka responded, feeling a little awkward.

"Haruka-chan, if you wouldn't mind us asking...what is your relationship with that idol?" Masato pointed towards the screen, where her sister was performing.

"The Idol?" Haruka looked to the T.V and smiled. They all looked to the T.V, silently waiting for the answer. "Well Impulse is my older sister." She said softly, waiting for the information to sink in. Of course Ittoki and Tomochika voiced their shock first.

"NO WAY!" Both shouted at the same time. At which Haruka happily and proudly nodded. Both of them started looking at the T.V screen and then back to Haruka trying to find similarities. Haruka just laughed at their antics.

"I know we look nothing alike." She giggled. "But I have my mother's hair and looks while my eyes are from my father. My older sister got our father's hair and looks but her eyes and from our mother." Haruka happily explained, and starting searching her pockets for a family picture she kept on her person at all times. Masato broke out of his thoughts and concluded.

"So then, your mom would have reddish hair and bright blue eyes, and your dad would have white hair and greenish yellow eyes." Masato nodded at his at his conclusion, Ittoki and Tomochika were trying to picture the family all together. And how weird it would have looked. Haruka only giggled at their day-dreaming, and pulled out a slightly crumpled picture of her family. She handed the picture to Masato so he could confirm his thoughts. Ittoki and Tomochika leaned over each of his shoulders looking at the picture with curiosity.

In the picture stood a man and a woman in a bed, the man was holding a very small Haruka in his arms while the woman had a hand on a white haired teen. They were all smiling, but the strange thing was the woman. She looked ill, if the hospital bed she was lying in was any give away.

As they studied the picture, Haruka smiled sadly and moved to get the CD out and put it away in its cover.

"I have two questions Nanami." Masato stated. Haruka nodded ready to answer.

"Why is your mother in hospital?" Ittoki and Tomochika immediately scolded him for being so thoughtless. Haruka was a little caught off guard by that, but she smiled sadly and answered.

"My mother became gravely ill about 2 years after my birth. She had lung cancer. My mother fought for a long time but about two weeks after my sixth birthday, she passed away." Haruka looked back to her task, smiling sadly. Her mother always tried to make the hospital visits more bearable. Tsukiko too.

"I'm sorry for your loss..." Masato sympathised, his grandfather died not long ago.

"It's ok, it was a long time ago. It's nice to think about her even though I didn't know her very long. " Haruka smiled sadly. "Tsukiko stayed positive surprisingly...my father though, he started working over time. He took many jobs that took him overseas so he earned quite a lot. But I never saw him and when I did it was easy to tell that my father took my mom's death the hardest." Haruka said her thoughts out loud. Ittoki interrupted her thoughts with a question.

"If you were six when your mother passed away, how old was Tsukiko? She must of been a lot older than you..." Ittoki trailed off trying to figure out her family. Haruka smiled.

"Tsukiko is eight years older than me. She was two months away from turning 14 when my mother passed away." Tomochika gasped at that, a sudden realisation occurred to her.

"She would have entered the academy here not long after... she literally would have gone to the academy the next year..." Haruka nodded her head.

"Not long after Tsukiko began her first year at Saotome Academy. I became slightly ill. Which scared Tsukiko... at the time I thought that Tsukiko overreacted to the simplest of situations, but now, when I think about it..." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "Tsukiko must of been afraid to lose me like they we had lost our mother..." Everyone was silent, letting the information sink in.

"You live your grandmother right?" Tomochika questioned, Haruka nodded. "When did you move in with her?" Haruka thought for a second and answered.

"During my sister's first break, when she was 16. She moved us to our grandma's house. She had talked with doctors and they believed that the country would help my immune system. So Tsukiko moved with me and herself." Masato frowned, what about her father?

"You said Tsukiko talked with the doctors, why didn't your father?" Haruka sighed at the thought of her father, she barely knew him. But she knew what Tsukiko and her Grandmother had told her.

"He didn't know I was ill. I did get sick not long after mom died, so I guess Tsukiko and Obaa-chan didn't want to distract him and get him worked up over a small illness." She guessed, she wasn't sure. Masato looked deep in thought while Tomochika gave her a sympathetic look. Ittoki looked at her with a look that she read as 'I understand.' Which she didn't understand herself. Masato unexpectedly said something.

"Can I ask that second question now?" She nodded. "I was wondering, why did your sister disappear from her career?" She expected this question sooner or later, but not from Masato. Haruka thought about her answer, but then a thought occurred. Why did her sister leave her career? She combed through her memories of Tsukiko trying to figured out why. When she was nine, Tsukiko had finished and graduated at Saotome Academy. At twelve Tsukiko stopped, all she knew was her sister was in the city. Now fifteen it's been three years since she last performed. It never did it occur to ask her sister about her career. She never thought anything was wrong.

"Actually Tsukiko-nee-chan never told me why she stopped her career..." Haruka started, causing her friends to frown in confusion. "I didn't see her for a few years after she stopped. It was like she disappeared not just from the spotlight but everyone..." Haruka whispered out, a little embarrassed on her lack of knowledge.

"Do you have any clue as to why?" Tomochika pushed, curiosity consuming her mind. Haruka thought about for a second but the debut song suddenly consumed her mind. She spoke her answer, causing everyone to tense.

"Maybe she really wanted to runaway..."

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

 **AN: Since Haruka's only family specified is her grandma, I'm not even kidding. They don't mention her parents at all. I thought at least I would get bit creative. Ok I have a list of songs for Tsukiko, these beautiful songs don't belong to me but their respected owners obviously. So if I used a lyric I will reference it down here. So of course, Runaway (U and I) by Galantis was sung in this chapter.**

 **Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 ** _Always and Forever,_**

 ** _LadyAdalicia_**


	8. Chapter 7 - Kalopsia

_"She's badass with a good heart, soft but strong. Unapologetic and honest. She's the type of women you go to war beside, the type of woman you marry." - R.h Sin_

 **Bold in the centre = Writing**

 _Italics in the centre = "Singing"_

 _Italics not in the centre = Flashback_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Everyone was silent, seemingly deep in thought. Haruka was thinking hard about the debut song. Maybe she really meant what she said, Haruka deduced.

She started think hard about the lyrics. An idea occurred to her, as she grabbed a piece of paper from one of her notebooks and wrote the lyrics to the song down.

 **Think I can fly, think I can fly when I'm with U**  
 **My arms are wide, catching fire as the wind blows**

"My arms are catching fire, as the wind blows?" She said to herself. Could that be a metaphor? An underlining meaning?

"I'm quite good with analysing lyrics. I can help." Masato said sitting down next to her.

"Her arms are open probably means she is accepting it." Masato said, quickly analysing the lyrics. "Catching fire, could mean something is hurting her. And as the wind blows, well wind is a natural thing, so maybe something she knew was coming in her life?" He scrutinise. Haruka took in the information he provided and tried to understand her sister's meaning.

"So in short..." Haruka started. "She found out something was coming that was going to hurt her and decided to embrace it and accept it?" Haruka's mind wondered over the meaning. It didn't make complete sense to her, but she somewhat understood what it meant. Unfortunately Ittoki, Masato and Tomochika looked at Haruka in confusion, not quite following her line of thoughts. A sudden memory struck her, a memory of her sister.

 _Tsukiko sat on the porch, they had just moved to their Grandmother's. Tsukiko looked lost in thought, as she looked up to the vibrant blue sky._

 _Haruka walked over, she wanted to ask her a favour. But she saw her sister's eyes. They did not look happy at all. They reminded her of her daddy's eyes. Her Obaa-chan had told_ _Tsui-nee that daddy was broken. So maybe she was broken? But before she could ask her onee-chan, she spoke._

 _"Do you ever_ _just want to run away...just you and me..." Tsukiko head lowered to look at her bare feet. She looked in deep thought. Haruka didn't understand what her sister meant, she was confused. Haruka lowered herself so she could sit next to her sister. A few moments passed before Tsukiko spoke again._

" _I try to run away from myself so often, just because the broken pieces of me, cut me deeply if I stay around for too long..." Whatever her sister was saying it didn't sound nice. Haruka's childish mind thought for a second and came to an answer._

" _But what if someone were to come along and pick up those pieces for you? Ya know like fix you like when I broke dolly and Obaa-chan fixed her?" Haruka childishly replied._

" _Then I wouldn't have to run away from myself anymore. I could stop running. If someone sees me as something worth saving and staying with...then maybe...I'll stay with myself too...'"Tsukiko turned her head to look at her younger sister. Her eyes were glazed. The once vibrant blue eyes looked like they were the night sky. Dark, they looked so lonely and lost. In that moment Haruka stood and hugged her. Tsukiko hugged her back but her broken and lost face held till her sister pulled away._

" _Nee-chan, are fine now?" Haruka questioned, Tsukiko smiled and nodded. Haruka held her hand and pulled her towards the house. But Haruka was child and couldn't tell her smile was fake. And if Tsukiko could do anything for her sister it would be to make sure she never knew it was fake. The least she could was make her childhood happy._

"She wanted to runaway then, but I didn't understand. I thought she was just depressed after mom's death. But what was she running from?" Haruka thought out loud. Ittoki and Tomochika gave her weird looks, while Masato held a calm face. Another thought struck her head.

"Something was hurting her, she accepted it, but...broken pieces cut her if she stayed? What if, the broken pieces were a secret, that she kept to herself, but it hurt to keep. So to stop herself being hurt and others from getting hurt as well, she had to runaway..." Haruka theorised, trying to figure out this mess her sister left. Masato was listening to her, thinking about what she was saying. Obviously there where pieces missing, he didn't know her sister nor the memories of her. He looked to Ittoki and Tomochika and saw that they were extremely confused, but decided to ignore them.

Suddenly Haruka got up, and walked to where she placed her books, one of which was part of the package Ringo-sensei gave her. The one her sister wrote to help her. Rapidly flipping the pages to find the chapter on writing lyrics. She found what she was looking for.

"...express through each note your feelings." Haruka read out loud.

"Every imaginable emotion you possess music will successfully translate into those smooth lyrics so articulately." Masato read out loud too, looking over her shoulder.

Looking to Masato, she held an indifferent face. Masato was deep in thought too. Until Ittoki and Tomochika finally decided to clear the confusion.

"WHAT'S GOING ON? DID WE MISS SOMETHING?!" Both yelled, extremely frustrated. They were standing only metres away, with hands on their hips. Masato was not as nearly as lost as them, but he would like some more information if possible.

"Well, I was thinking about what you said Tomo-chan, and I guess, I immediately thought if my sister would want to say anything but felt like she couldn't she would do it through her songs." Haruka explained. She watched as their frustration changed into deep thought.

"Do you have copies of each of her song's lyrics?" Masato asked, at which Haruka nodded. She gave the book she was holding to Masato and walked over to the chest, and grabbed a purple portfolio. Walking back to Masato she gave him the portfolio, and she took the book that she had given him beforehand. He opened and almost looked confused instantly. He flipped through the sheets skimming lightly, recognition and confusing were the main emotions that everyone saw.

"Tsukiko-nee had a lot of drafts and uncompleted songs that never made the debut album or any album." Haruka explained to Masato. He nodded understanding what she meant, an idol has to make a lot of lyrics over the course of their career, Tsukiko was no different. He started pulling out songs that made the debut and laid them carefully on the couch. Then started with Haruka's help studying them. Ittoki and Tomochika took the rest of the songs and started trying to sing them.

They noticed certain lyrics, had strange wording or just something off about the song.

"Distance...this song has this one lyric that is strange Nanami." Masato said, furrowing his brow in confusion as he picked up the paper for her to see. Haruka turned to look at him, quite confused too.

 _"Please don't stand so close to me_

 _I'm having trouble breathing_

 _I'm afraid of what you'll see right now"_

Masato sung following the notes and lyrics smoothly. Haruka's eyes widened, recognition clear in her eyes. That song was the one she sung quite often as a lullaby to her but she only had just created it during her final year of her career.

Masato coughed, Haruka realised she spoke out loud again. And flushed in embarrassment. Suddenly Ittoki called them to look at this song.

"Hey guys, this song is so strange but it's kind of sad...I think you guys might be interested in it." Ittoki held the paper up so they could see, as Masato walked over Ittoki handed him the paper. Masato took the paper, he instantly recognised the song it was one of the last songs she released before disappearing. He handed it to Haruka, in hopes of her having more information on her song. She gasped, this was the song that caused so much strife between Tsukiko and her manager.

"She called this song Human. I remember when she came home really upset one day. She was going through her stuff looking for something...but she couldn't find it and she just suddenly broke down. She couldn't find the lyrics she wrote for this song. She later found out it was because her manager had gone through her stuff." Haruka spoke of the memory, a deep frown on her face. She was mad at that man because of how rude and mean he was to Tsukiko. This song meant a LOT to Tsukiko and he just demands that because she was keeping such a great song from him that she had to release it as a single.

"I have the music video she made for it..." Haruka muttered. She walked over to the chest and grabbed the CD that was labelled 'Human - MV'. Placing the CD into the disk tray, they all waited anxiously for the video to start.

From blackness faded a picture of Tsukiko in a white dress, standing in a grey room, with a single spotlight on her. When she began to sing, the raw emotion in her singing was crushing it was so painful to hear yet they listened.

 _"I can hold my breath_

 _I can bite my tongue_

 _I can stay awake for days_

 _If that's what you want_

 _Be your number one"_

Tsukiko looked towards the camera, with a forced smile.

 _"I can fake a smile_

 _I can force a laugh_

 _I can dance and play the part_

 _If that's what you ask_

 _Give you all I am"_

Fake a smile? Force a Laugh? Play a part? Why? Haruka couldn't even answer her own questions as she watched her sisters video. Tsukiko held her hands over her heart, tearing her eyes from the camera she instead looked down as if ashamed of her next words.

 _"I can do it_

 _I can do it_

 _I can do it"_

A sudden burst of colours spread through the once dull room, her hands open wide ras she sung the chorus. Her eyes now looking towards the ceiling.

 _"But I'm only human_

 _And I bleed when I fall down"_

She fell to her knees and red splashed out on the floor. The graphics of her video were astounding, and visually beautifully, Masato noted.

 _"I'm only human_

 _And I crash and I break down_

 _Your words in my head, knives in my heart_

 _You build me up and then I fall apart_

 _Cause I'm only human"_

As Tsukiko got up the red retracted.

Haruka eyes started to go glassy as tears were forming. Her sister was telling everyone how much she was in pain. She was only human...but why. Why was she in pain?

 _"I can turn it on_

 _Be a good machine_

 _I can hold the weight of worlds"_

Chains seemed to appear holding her as she let them hold her.

 _"If that's what you need_

 _Be your everything"_

Her eyes closed, almost accepting her fate, as the chains dispersed. Haruka's own eyes where brimmed with tears as her own grief slid over cheeks, guilt consuming her.

 _"I can do it_

 _I can do it_

 _I'll get through it"_

She started to walk and then run, until she was into a full sprint. Stopping at what seemed to be a cliff, as a red sun began to set, she let out voice and continued her song.

 _"But I'm only human_

 _And I bleed when I fall down_

 _I'm only human_

 _And I crash and I break down_

 _Your words in my head, knives in my heart_

 _You build me up and then I fall apart_

 _'Cause I'm only human"_

As her sister fell off the cliff, she saw her smile. It looked so real and hopeful. Even if it was music video, the pain behind it was so real.

"Why...Tsukiko-nee...If you were in so much pain...why didn't you tell anybody?!" Haruka cried out, she was extremely distressed over what they found today. She just couldn't stand it anymore and turned to leave. Already trying to dry her tears. Only to see the door open with a tall feminine figure standing there. Haruka held back a gasp. As the figure's piercing blue eyes, showed her hardship and pain. Her voice was bell like as she said.

" _I'm only human..."_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠ _  
_

 **A/N: Songs used in this chapter are in order of when they are used so:**

 **Runaway (U and I) by Galantis**

 **Distance by Christina Perri**

 **Human by Christina Perri**

 **I don't own them obviously, but these songs are very beautiful and good so you should check them out. Maybe listen to it while reading this, its what I do when I'm writing with the lyrics. But holy crap this a loonnngggg chapter, do you guys like the length though? Tell me pls.**

 **Now remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 ** _Always and Forever,_**

 ** _LadyAdalicia_**


	9. Chapter 8 - Apricity

_"There's a point in your life when you get tired of fixing everything and trying to make everyone happy. When you finally decide to quit, it's not giving up. It is realising you don't need certain people and the bullshit they bring into your life." - Grey's Anatomy_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

The words that had come out of the blue eyed beauty, had Haruka weeping. Haruka ran right into the arms of the woman. Haruka openly cried into the crook of her neck.

"I guess I should I have called you to say that I was coming a whole week earlier at the headmaster's request." Tsukiko tried to comfort the golden green eyed teen, currently sobbing against her. "He only told me this morning, I'm sor-". But before she could finish explaining Haruka interrupted hastily.

"W-why? I don't understand?! Why did you not say anything if you were in so much pain?!" Haruka desperately cried pulling herself away from her sister's comforting embrace. She stood face to face with her sister. Eyes red and puffy were desperately searching the blue orbs for an answer.

"You were young, you would not have understood what was happening. Even if you were older some things are better left unspoken..." Tsukiko trailed off, waiting for Haruka to respond.

"NO! You have to stop this! Tell me why!" Haruka's voice grew desperate by the second, new tears flowing over her cheeks. Tsukiko eyes soften, but her face remained impassive.

"If I told you, I would have cause you an unnecessary amount of stress. I cannot bear to hurt you..." Tsukiko looked away, ashamed. She breathed out her fears and explained herself further. "I didn't want you to end up like our father because I love you too much...the last thing I want for you is too be unhappy." Tsukiko firmly stated. She sounded almost desperate when she spoke of our father, Haruka noted. It was then she noticed Tsukiko's blue eyes glistened with tears not yet ready to fall.

"I purposely closed all the doors, Haruka, so of course you don't know. All you have known this whole time is what you have seen through the windows of my life, slowly though I dirtied the windows. I have locked every door, dirtied every windo-"

"I will break the door! Smash the window! I'm not a naïve kid anymore!" Haruka yelled interrupting her sister, her frustration getting the better of her. Tsukiko made excuse after excuse, but it was time for the truth.

"Not long after mother died, you said you wanted to run away. I was not smart enough back then to understand what you meant. But now I do." Haruka firmly declared. "What was hurting you? What secret hurt you so much that you wanted to runaway?! Don't you realise that when you tried to stop yourself from being hurt and from us getting hurt you only caused more pain!?" Haruka paused, glancing at her sister's wide eyes which were brimmed with tears. Haruka knew she had hit home.

"What is it that you are running from? What is it that's hurting you? What is it that you hid from everyone!" Haruka yelled, extremely frustrated. Her sister was looking down, bangs covering her eyes. She lifted her head to stared deep into Haruka golden green eyes. Silver threads covered Tsukiko's pale cheeks, her eyes were hollow and pained. She looked like a doll, that had been left for the dust to claim. She looked broken.

"I'm dying, Haruka-chan..." She smiled, painfully. Haruka tensed at the word dying. She was confused. Dying? Haruka couldn't understand. Taking in a deep breath, Tsukiko tried to explain.

"Not long after mother's funeral, I had noticed few problems with my own health. I ignored for a few years because I thought it was just a side effect from depression or the grieving process, but as the years went by it got worse. I went to the doctors when I was only a year into my official career as an idol and composer." Pausing, she took in a shaky breath. Gathering her courage, she knew she had to tell her.

"I was diagnosed with lung cancer. According to the doctor its maternal, meaning its from our mother's family, so it's genetic." Tsukiko looked into Haruka's eyes, she saw sadness and confusion in Haruka's golden green orbs. Haruka tried to make sense of the situation.

"Is that why you were always out of breath when you sung..." Haruka's bangs covered her eyes at the realisation. "I never thought that...you were so sick..." Haruka said disbelieving, her mind couldn't focus. Her thoughts started quickly trying to make sense of whats he was told.

Her sister is sick.

Her sister is sick with lung cancer.

If Tsukiko is sick with the same thing as her mum...

And her mother died from it...

Her sister will die.

Tsukiko watched Haruka carefully, observing her movements. She was upset. That much was clear. She observed her sister's eyes, the once happy golden greens irises were slowly dulling.

"Haruka, I have been fighting my cancer a long time. Coming up this December it will be almost ten years. " Haruka looked sharply up at her sisters unusually enlightened tone.

"Mother died after six years of fighting her cancer. I was worried when I turned eighteen I would die of my cancer. Instead I lived another five years." Tsukiko bragged. Haruka lightened up a bit feeling some hope.

"It's actually thanks to treatment it got better for a long time, but the thing with this cancer is it goes unnoticed for a long time. The symptoms got worse when I was working. My doctor said it was too much stress on my body. " Her smile morphed into a deep frown, not enjoying the returning memories of her successful but depressing career.

"Before my last concert I talked to Saotome about leaving my career til I was cured or healthy enough to do it again. He agreed to let me leave, but now other things have come up..." The blue eyed beauty explained, head down, ashamed of her lack of confidence to her tell her sibling. Haruka was slowly coming to an understanding. Everything was fitting together, the once lost pieces became visible to her.

Her sister had been diagnosed with lung cancer, and her cancer got worse as the years went by. To protect her from getting hurt or upset, Tsukiko figured that she should keep it to herself and hide everything. But...it must of hurt...

"How..." Haruka started, eyes glistened with fresh tears. "It must of hurt... to keep it a secret...and suffer alone...not letting others bear your burden..." Haruka looked deep into Tsukiko eyes, seeing a soft smile appear on her pale face.

"Pain is just apart of life..." Tsukiko sighed, it really was. Everyone goes through a tough time, some tougher than others.

"Wait...you said other things have come up...like what?" Haruka asked, confused on what Tsukiko had said earlier. Tsukiko sighed again, she didn't want to put more weight on her sister's shoulders than she already had.

"It's things you don't need to be concerned wit-" Haruka quickly interrupted her.

"Do not use that excuse! I am older now! There is no excuse here! Just tell me the truth! The whole truth!" Haruka angrily yelled, she was frustrated with her sister. Why keep hiding and burying this? Tsukiko closed her eyes, she rubbed her eyes with her hand, she was tired of Haruka pushing her. This was something Haruka shouldn't concern herself with but if she wanted to know...

"Haruka...It's-" Tsukiko began, but was interrupted by a rough voice.

"It's what she wants."

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

 **AN: Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!**

 ** _Always and Forever,_**

 ** _LadyAdalicia_**


	10. Looking Beyond the Image

_Chapter 9: Looking beyond the image_

 _"Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn't mean they're bad people, it means they're human." - Kishou Arima - Tokyo Ghoul_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Haruka gasped, the words spoken were the ones their mother used to say. They were even some of her last words to them. Looking up from her shock to Tsukiko, she found a small yet faint smile. Her smile reminded her of a smile of a porcelain doll, one that has been left on the shelf. The forgotten doll left to be caked in dust, sometimes so thick it looked like a million spider webs. A long forgotten doll is what her sister was.

"Haruka I'm proud of my heart. It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken...but somehow it still works" Tsukiko spoke, voice cracking on each adjective. Her lip trembled and the long awaited tears fell down her cheeks. Leaving the glistening trail that stop at her jaw line and dripped onto her blouse.

"It was so...hard. I never told anyone. I left for treatment, but I told myself if I never told you or father, life would go on and the both of you would remain happy." Her sister's voice broke and was now higher as she cried harder.

"I was so scared! I was so scared, I was going to die and leave you behind!" Tsukiko brought her hands to her face and rubbed the tears away, only for more to come. Her eyes now red and puffy, as well cheeks and nose. She looked so depressed and genuinely sad.

Haruka's own eyes started to tear up as well. Her sister was so alone. So scared. And all she did was sit there and be oblivious to the pain. To her credit, she was young at the time, but that was no excuse for the ignorance she had given to her sister.

Quiet sniffles were heard behind them as Tomochika started to tear up and cry at the sister's interaction. Haruka looked behind to Ittoki comforting her and Masato looking awkward, she smiled slightly at them and turned her attention back to her sister.

She hugged her with all her might. Wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling her sister down to cry onto her shoulder. Tsukiko moved her hands and held tightly onto Haruka's clothes on her back. They stood there for a split second before collapsing onto their knees. Tsukiko just kept crying mumbling words over and over again. Haruka caught a few words like 'lonely', 'painful' and 'sorry'. It only made her heart clench as her own guilt begun consuming her as she started crying herself. Her own tears soaking into Tsukiko's blouse as she buried her own face against her neck. They both just hugged each other tighter, trying to dry their tears and pull themselves together.

It was only after at least a minute or two that Tsukiko pulled back, her cheeks still glistening from her crying.

"After all my hard work to keep you from knowing anything, here I am spilling it all and crying." Tsukiko giggled, a small smile upon her dry lips. Haruka could only smile back, before replying happily.

"You should always tell me how you feel. Because, as dad says, opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regrets can last a lifetime." Haruka's chirpy voice and the familiar words spoken, only made Tsukiko's smile widened.

Their heart-warming moment was unfortunately interrupted by the booming voice of Saotome.

"I see you have arrived, Tsukiko." A smile upon his face, and hands behind his back as he calmly walked into the room. Tsukiko stood to her full height, letting go of her sister. She nodded her head in acknowledgement to him, before moving away from her sister. Haruka was stunned that her sister seemed blank the minute Saotome had walked in. She reached out trying to desperately grasp her sister's hand, clumsily she grabbed it but Tsukiko shrugged her off.

"I told you why I was here didn't I? Or have you already forgotten?" Tsukiko's voice was cold and heartless, stunning her Haruka. Haruka didn't remembered Tsukiko's reason, but as she glossed over her memories of the past few hours. She began to fear her sister's health.

'Before my last concert I talked to Saotome about leaving my career. He agreed to let me leave, but said he wanted me to return when my cancer had almost completely gone.' The blue eyed beauty explained, head down, ashamed of her lack of confidence to her tell her sibling. Haruka was slowly coming to an understanding. Everything was fitting together, the once lost pieces became visible.

Her eyes widened, the pupils dilated, her skin became pale and she began to let out ragged short breaths. The realisation of her sister's situation become so disgustingly clear. After finally recovering from a cancer she was going to return to this deadly career! The hell was wrong with Saotome!

"Saotome-san, why would you do that to her?! She was sick! It's going to come back again if she continues her career!" Haruka yelled her voice breaking as the desperation sunk in. Tsukiko was frozen in place, she just wanted to hug her sister and tell her everything would be fine. But Saotome gave her that look that told her he would punish her if she turned around.

"I'm doing this for her own good. She wanted to fame, she wanted to be a star. I can tell you, I have never met a girl more passionate and talented than Tsukiko. I just had to make sure she stayed in the music industry. So she signed a contract." Saotome smirked, he knew Haruka wouldn't win. And Tsukiko would be too afraid to back out.

"Tsukiko please recite, a certain part of the contract." The man before they slyly added, before walking slowly to the door. Tsukiko swallowed hard and tried not to sound upset.

"Tsukiko is to grant Shining Saotome full management of her career. In an event, in which health issues or unexpected accident occurs, Tsukiko will either return to her career immediately after recovery or continue her career without incident. Tsukiko will work for Shining Saotome, until Tsukiko is considered no longer famous by the public and the media, or…" The last part making Tsukiko hesitate, her lip trembled as she bit down on it. She let out a deep breath, before she recited the last part. Her voice hitched with sorrow and regrets.

"…or…she has died."

 **A/N: Hi everyone! Forgive me for not updating! I'm such a slow and lazy author! But thank you for all the support and love I get from all of you! I haven't got too much to say but I have exams in about 5 weeks' time so I may not be active during that period. Hopefully though I will pass and I can keep up with my own fanfictions! Also I dedicate this chapter to wattpad members BadWolf, HarukaKiyashiki and Luna_Starr_9966 for commenting. And to Feefee242, 96** **猫と** **Valshe and Snowflake363 for following me! Thanks so much! I also have an idea for a prequel so that we could explore Tsukiko's life before this, so from when her mum dies to now when she is coming back to her career. I want to write that after I finished this. I will hopefully update soon! Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews!**

 **Lots of love!**

 **DecayedStars**


	11. Golden Girl Once Again!

_Chapter 10 - Golden Girl Once Again_

 _"To hate something that you used to love is such a painful feeling" - Ciel Phantomhive_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

 _ **Italics = flashback**_

Nearly a week had passed since the unfortunate incident. The event caused everyone to feel uneasy for many reasons. Ittoki leaned on his balcony railing, remembering the episode. He couldn't shake it off his mind. That devastating look Haruka had and that horrid sapphire blue of Haruka's so called sister's eyes as she looked to Haruka in desperation and guilt. Ever since the development, Haruka had been so quiet, especially since she had purposely enveloped herself in her work.

It was obvious to everyone, that Haruka was deeply hurt, by Saotome actions and Tsukiko's secrecy. And with the recent advertisements on social media and T.V's of the great idol Runaway returning to her career, were more than Haruka could take so she locked herself in her room. Not even Tomochika could get her to smile anymore.

Everyone was worried about her. Ittoki looked to the night sky, recalling the gloomy affair.

 _Haruka's devastated eyes were no longer the colour of green and yellow, as they quickly dulled in colour and went glassy with tears. Tsukiko continued to look forward and refused to look at the shattered look of her sister's face. She knew that if she looked back, her own heart would break out of guilt alone._

 _"Die?!" Haruka yelled out, the desperation of the situation was sinking further into her mind._

 _"Well, we can't have a dead idol on my hands, can we?" Saotome chuckled jokingly, still smirking with a sick glint in his eyes._

 _"Stop joking around Saotome! What kind of contract is that?! Till she dies?! What the hell!" Masato yelled, it was a surprise when he yelled out. But everyone ignored his out of character moment and continued the issue at hand._

 _"You children don't understand, she has everything to be the best idol in the world! Imagine the life she is going to live! The fame! The fortune!" Saotome started twirling and blushing, the images of such a life were consuming his childish mind. This made everyone in the room more pissed than before._

 _"She's sick! She shouldn't be returning to a career that could kill her! Don't you understand the risk?!" Haruka frustration was getting the best of her, she was standing and her hands were going white with the force of her clenching her fist._

 _"Oh well. She will have to deal with it when the time comes." Saotome smiled sweetly at them, titling his head trying to add to his innocence. Haruka eyes widened and her mouth gaped at that, did he not care at all?! If she sings as much as she used to she could trigger a relapse of the cancer cells! Her sister was at the hands of Satan itself!_

 _"We have to get going now. We have her second debut concert to plan!" Saotome's evil smirk graced itself onto his face. He turned and placed his hand on the small part of Tsukiko's back, making sure she followed along with him._

Ittoki sighed to himself. The concert was tonight, he had seen the advertisements and promos for it for the last four days. It was strange looking at the adverts because Tsukiko's face was never on them. Ittoki sighed, it must be Saotome's way of drawing in the crowd. He had heard that the concert was sold out within a day though and that there was going to be a live coverage of the event on the T.V.

He looked up to the night sky once again, it was going to start within an hour.

Haruka was holding two white slips in her hands, they were VIP tickets to Tsukiko's concert tonight.

She stared at them, emotions swimming in her eyes. She received the tickets this morning, they were on the ground in front of her door, she didn't know who delivered them but she was confused.

She knew that Saotome would never let her see Tsukiko so he was out.

She didn't know anyone involved in the concert besides...Tsukiko...

Did Tsukiko send her the tickets? Why? She didn't seem interested to defend herself when she last saw them! Haruka shook her head violently, she wouldn't believe her sister would send her tickets after what happened!

She unexpectedly heard a knock at her door. Standing, she went to open her door, the knocking got more sporadic and impatient as she walked to the door. Slightly irritated by this person's impatience nature, she opened the door with an annoyed look. Unsurprisingly it was Ittoki, he had been quite persistent in trying to make her happy lately.

'Haruka-chan! We have to watch the concert together!' Ittoki smiled happily, hoping she would say yes. Haruka was a little surprised at the request she brought her hand to her face and looked blankly at the tickets again. Ittoki looked to the slips in her hands and noticed that they were in fact tickets to the concert that was going to start soon. Ittoki's smile got wider if possible and he happily stated.

'Haruka-chan! This is great! Your sister wants you to see her perform! We can go together if you like?' He hoped Haruka wasn't against this idea, otherwise he wasn't sure how he was going to get her to see her sister.

'I don't think it's a good idea...' Haruka spoke uncertainly, she didn't know why, but she felt like something bad was going to happen and that just made her not want to go. She assumed it was the sadness over the event earlier this week but she could be wrong.

'Why not?! There is no reason for you not to go! Sure you had a fight, but as a sibling, a sister! You have to go! No matter what! Because that is what siblings do! They are there for each other no matter what!' Ittoki was near yelling at this point. Even though he had no siblings, his friends at the orphanage was the closest thing he had and he would never betray them. So for Haruka to be acting this way to her blood sibling was making Ittoki frustrated even furious.

'I-Ittoki-kun...' Haruka was stunned at his outburst, she couldn't say anything. She was just so surprised by his words.

'Haruka-chan lets go together, it not for me or your sister, but for yourself.' Ittoki smiled softly and stretched his arm to her, and as it seemed an open palm was all she needed. She grasped his hand and they smiled at each other. Haruka closed and locked her door, tickets in hand and ready to go. Until she turned to find all of her friends waiting.

Masato, Natsuki, Tokiya, Ren, Shō and Tomochika. All of them were smiling at her.

 **(AN: I know this is a bit lazy, but let's just say she developed friendships with them over that week, sorry guys)**

She smiled genuinely for the first since the incident. Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked at each of their faces. Words she had almost forgot stirred within her mind as she looked at their smiling faces.

 _'...find support and love within those who accepts you, ignore the rumours and defend yourself against others.'_

I guess you were right Nee-chan. Haruka thought lovingly

'Thank you everyone! Now let's get to that concert!' Haruka happily announced.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Tsukiko looked out at the stage, she stood on the left wing waiting for the show to start. She hadn't seen Haruka at all, and it weighed her mind down heavily.

Her grandmother placed her hand on her shoulder, her aged face held such a sweet smile for Tsukiko.

'All will be well dear, I bet she is just a bit late.' Her Grandmother's eyes held more hope than she had ever had in her life. Tsukiko just smiled at her Grandmother's words and hugged her. The embrace was extremely loving and she missed these sort of moments. Her Grandmother had been the only one to know about her cancer and the support she got from her made each day just that little bit bearable. Unexpectedly she heard the booming voice of Saotome, as it echoed within the arena. She knew she was going to have to get up on the stage any minute now.

She heard her idol name and she knew that the time was here. She had to get on that stage and start doing the one thing she loved again. And instead of the fear she had felt throughout the week at the fear of relapse, she felt at peace and truly happy. A single tear found its way down her cheek as the passion of her dream started flowing through her veins once again. She walked onto that stage and the cheers had enveloped her being immediately. She was brought back to that day she sung here debut.

She remembered, standing on the stage, hearing hundreds, thousands even millions scream her name as she silently waited for the start of the harmony at her first debut.

That feeling of accepting the warmth of crowds captures her entire body. Being on stage was magic. Feeling the energy of everybody who's out there. And suddenly she heard that rhythmic sound, her song begun.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Haruka was in awe. She had arrived too late to wish her sister luck, but that didn't stop them from watching the show. And it was spectacular. Her angelic voice hasn't changed.

'If I told you this was only gonna hurt

If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn

Would you walk in? Would you let me do it first?

Do it all in the name of love'

Haruka knew that this song had its ties to the original debut song, but she couldn't help but want to cry at the familiarity of the song.

'Would you let me lead you even when you're blind?

In the darkness, in the middle of the night

In the silence, when there's no one by your side

Would you call in the name of love?'

She knew that her songs were written straight from her heart and she knew that truly her sister was the best idol because of it.

The lights started to dim and she was suddenly saw Tsukiko walking up a spiral staircase that surrounded a podium, she walked up the stairs as she sung.

'In the name of love, name of love

In the name of love, name of love"

The beat was coming and she could see Tsukiko at the top and the beat bashed its way through the stadium as Tsukiko raised her fist.

'In the name of

Love

In the name, name

Love

In the name, name

Love'

She saw her sister jump off the podium giving Haruka a heart attack till she saw her being carried by a by a metal swing of sorts, back down to the main stage. She started singing the next verse. But Haruka noticed something off about Tsukiko's performing.

'If I told you we could bathe in all the lights

Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky?

Would you trust me when you're jumping from the heights?

Would you fall in the name of love?

When there's madness, when there's poison in your head

When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed

I will hold you in the depths of your despair

And it's all in the name of love'

She sung with a hint of sadness bringing true emotion live to the stage, it was a breathtaking performance but yet sweat formed on Tsukiko's forehead. Her chest tightened again as she reached the longer notes, it was starting to get more painful. She could push through this she knew she could.

'In the name of love, name of love

In the name of love, name of love

In the name of'

Haruka's heart stopped almost in time to the beat drop she didn't expect what happened next. So many things rushed through her mind as she saw the event in front her happen in slow motion.

Tsukiko had collapsed on stage.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

 **Ahhhhhhh I'm such a terrible person! I haven't updated in so long! I feel so bad so forgive me! But I do have a plan for the next chapter so the next chapter should be out after my exams so in about four weeks. I will try to continue updating but with my transition into year eleven and doing university level courses it's gonna be more difficult than before. The reason I haven't updated in a while was because I had a major case of writer's block. I did not know how to even begin the next chapter but finally I planned out the plot for the next three chapters so that should stop me from having writers block. Also I'm writing this on my iPad now because it's too troublesome to write it on my parent's PC and my laptop is unrepairable (I spilt water on it xD) but thankfully I'm getting a MacBook at Christmas so until then I will be writing via iPad so forgive me for any mistakes.**

 **The song I used for the debut this time is 'In The Name Of Love' by Martin Garrix. Which funnily enough I was listening to while writing this. Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews!**

 **Love you cookies!**


	12. Lost and Blind

_Chapter 11: Lost and Blind._

 _"_ _Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Hope for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein_

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

The stark smell of bleach was overwhelming. It made noses burn and eyes water, most people preferred to stay in the hall where the smell wasn't so overpowering to the senses. Everyone that is, except Haruka. She sat stone still on an old wooden chair with her eyes locked into place.

Haruka felt powerless and heavy, as she stared at the figure that laid still on the bed. The room was pristine clean and gloomy. A typical hospital bed, with the repetitive sounds of the IV and monitors beeping. The walls were a sickly green colour and the linens were greyish. The place looked nothing like a room where a patient should be motivated to get better. If anything the murky room was making Haruka nauseous.

Her eyelids were heavy and she yawned for what seemed like the hundredth time, she hadn't slept all night. For every moment she thought about closing her eyes, she saw her sister in pain. She did not know why she saw such images. But it haunted her to the point where even a nap was out of the question. So she sat there, staring at the figure on the bed.

A quiet knock was heard at the door and Haruka came out of her trance briefly.

"Yes?" She answered. In response the door opened with a nurse and an elderly woman.

"This is your grandmother, yes?" The nurse asked. Haruka nodded, standing up to hug her grandmother. Her grandmother cooed to her, trying to relax and comfort Haruka.

"How is she?" Haruka's grandmothers asked, concern heavy in her tone. Haruka tiredly sighed and sat down holding her aching head in her hands. Her grandmother rubbed soothing circles on her backs in an attempt to comfort her.

"The doctors say she collapsed due to over exhaustion and a bit of dehydration. From the looks of her schedule that I got from Ringo-sensei, for six hours a day they have her training for shows and recording her tracks while in her down time she is supposed to write and create these songs." Her frustration was clear to her grandmother.

"She will be all right dear. She always has habit of not giving up." Her grandmother smiled at the still body on the bed.

"I know Oba-chan, but I'm just worried…" Haruka's voice cracked in dejection. Her grandmother silently agreed.

Another knock was heard, and the door opened. There stood Ittoki, Masato, Natsuki, Tokiya, Ren, Shō and Tomochika.

"Your friends Nanami-san?" The nurse questioned. Haruka nodded with a slight smile. Tomochika rushed over and hugged Nanami tightly. The boys stayed at the door, relief clear on their face. Haruka's grandmother sat down in the old wooden chair Haruka had previously been siting in, and watched silently the scene between friends and potential romantic relationships. She smiled ever so cheerfully at the thought of her little Haruka getting married.

Ittoki stood next Haruka's grandmother. Being as polite as Ittoki was, he asked if she was all right.

"Nanami-sa-" Haruka's grandmother cut him off, holding her aged hand up to stop him.

"Please Ittoki-kun, call me Oba-chan." She giggled as Ittoki surprised face softened at the kind woman. He knelt down for her and she ruffled his hair, and they began talking. Mostly about Haruka.

Masato looked to Tsukiko on the bed and so did Ren. Now they could see the resemblance in the siblings they did have similar face shapes, but their eyes were very different though.

Natsuki bounced his way to Haruka holding a present for her.

"We were so worried about you! I made some cookies to make you smile and feel better!" He pushed his arms out with the gift waiting for her to accept it. She grabbed the box and thanked him, but Shō quickly cut in and whispered something in her ear.

"Trust me when I say this, you don't want to eat those." He pulled back and gave her a small bag, she looked inside the contents of the bag to find some juice and cookies.

"These are bought from a local bakery, so now you won't get ill from eating his." He pointed to Natsuki, referencing the small burnt pieces of supposed cookies. She laughed at their antics and proceeded to open the bag and set out the cookies for everyone.

Masato looked at Haruka and noticed the slight discolouration under her eyes, She had not been sleeping.

"Nanami you should rest, I can tell you are worried about her. But currently the best thing you can do is let her rest and be prepared for when she wakes up." He advised, watching her carefully. Haruka looked at her sister, worry shined in her eyes as watched her sister breathe slowly. Her grandmother sighed loudly, catching everybody's attention.

"Haruka-chan, you worry too much. Do you think that Tsukiko-chan would be pleased to see you like this?" She inquired, looking at Haruka with an eyebrow raised. Haruka looked at her grandmother her eyes widened in realisation before her eyes became hooded. Lines became more prominent on her face as her fatigue set in. Everyone became very worried about Haruka.

A knock at the door drew attention away briefly, as a nurse poked her head in.

"Nanami-san? There is a call on hold for you." Haruka's grandmother furrowed her brows in confusion before standing up and following the nurse out.

The door closed and all attention was back on Haruka. Ittoki grabbed Haruka's hand and guided her to the most comfy looking chair in the room which happened to be right next to her sisters bed. He sat her down and kneeled to look at her face to face.

"Haruka we were all worried about you. Especially when Tomochika said you hadn't come back to your room at all last night." She looked up at them, surprised they were so concerned for her when she wasn't the one in the hospital bed.

"I will be fine. Tonight I will head to a hotel with my Grandma since her house is a bit of way from here, she probably won't need me but I will need her." Haruka said rubbing her eyes from her fatigue. Everyone frowned but did not disagree. She yawned and blinked her eyes rapidly trying to stop them from closing.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Haruka's grandmother stood at a desk, a phone in hand and was talking to someone. An obvious frown marred her face, clearly showing her distaste for the person she was talking to. Sighing for umpteenth that day, she tried to explain the situation to the person.

A sudden declaration from the person on the other side of phone made Haruka's grandmother eyes widen significantly. She held the phone in her shaking hand, her mind couldn't rationalise the situation. Why would they want to come? Maybe because they worried for Tsukiko but they never cared before now…

She put down the phone and rubbed her eyes. The next week will be an interesting one, Haruka's grandmother solemnly thought.

A doctor came up to her, and asked if she was Tsukiko's grandmother, with a nod the doctor asked her to sit down so he could tell her about Tsukiko's results.

◠◡(◕^^◕)◡◠

Haruka looked up as her grandmother walked in, Haruka tiredly smiled at her.

"Who was it that was on the phone, Oba-chan?" Haruka inquired, resting her head on Tsukiko's bed.

"Before I tell you that, I need to tell you what the doctor told me about her condition." Haruka's grandmother sombrely answered. This grabbed her attention almost instantly.

"Just before I came in, the doctor spoke to me. He thought you were too distress to speak to yet, so he spoke to me first." Haruka looked up from her resting position, curiosity peaking through her green and yellow orbs.

"Because she had cancer before, they wanted to make sure that there wasn't a relapsed of any cancer cells so she had a scan." Haruka's eyes widened significantly, fear consumed her form. Her grandmother's aged face held no discernible emotions, scaring Haruka.

"According to the doctor's, they couldn't find any cancer cells." Her grandmother cheered. Haruka burst out in tears, her joy overwhelming her.

"But…I have other news that concerns both of you" Her grandmother began, grabbing Haruka's full attention.

"Your father is coming home."

 _(◕^^◕)◡◠_

 **AUTHORS NOTE:**

 **Omg I'm so so so sorry that I haven't updated since last year! I KNOW I LIED ABOUT UPDATING ON LAST CHAPTER BUT SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS HOLY CRAP! These chapters will be coming out later then normal cus when you're in your last two years of high school shit gets real and hard so i have to spend more tie doing school shit.**

 **I will try to update all my stories as much as possible now before school starts up, cus I'm on holidays again on the 26 of April. So Imma try real hard but it does take me around 3 days for 2000 word chapters…it's a slow process…AND THIS IS THE SHORTEST CHAPTER IIVE WRITTEN WTF!**

 **If you any inquiries or questions about this story just leave them the reviews or dm me! I ALWAYS ANSWER AND IF I HAVEN'T THAT IS BECAUSE IT WILL BE ANSWERED IN THAT CHAPTER OR THE NEXT! SO BE PATIENT WITH ME T-T**

 **ANYWAY, IF YOU NOTICE A MISTAKE TELL ME AND I WILL SORT IT OUT CUS I DON'T HAVE A BETA T-T! LEAVE SOME LOVE FOR ME AND HELP**

 **Love you cookies!**


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